If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $36.00 left.But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, You would have had $214.00.Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.It's called the 401-Keg Plan.
More beer. More cheese. More sex. Vitamin fortified cigars. Public beer fountains. Kitty catapults. All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters. Wet T-shirt Fridays. Replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors. Rocket boots. Machine gun camp. NASA space shuttle races. Sledgehammer boxing. Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind, and delete arguments. Congressional pie fights. Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero. More beer. More cheese. More sex. Tomahawk missile surf boards. Hot tub jury boxes. Nacho cheese lipstick. Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs. New TV shows: PBS' The BBQ Hour, Total Kung-Fu Live, and America's Funniest Farts. 24-hour, on call UN negotiator for when you stumble home late, drunk, with lipstick stains on your collar. More beer. More cheese. More sex. Condoms that whistle, whir, and honk when used. Inflatable sex dolls who cook. Beef jerky business cards. Combination briefcase/pizza oven. National Make-Out with Cheerleaders Day. Art museums dedicated to framing copy-machine faxes of asses. Robot gloves for crushing kegs of beer. Karaoke "ejector" stages. Opera glasses that broadcast ESPN. The Astronaut Reserves. Porno without all the "talking" filler. Head banging elevated to "fine art". All money spent on women tax deductible! Free BBQ buffet at the DMV. Passports to Margaritaville. The ability to telepathically force anyone to belch on the spot. One "Get Out of the Doghouse" card.
Latest obsessions
Lost - puhleeze send spoilers...I can't stand it anymore...
5 comments:
why do a picture that lil fucked up Peter Pan dude???
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g267/carolineryder/peter_pan2_1.jpg
LOL...jax too fucking funny....can i use this for my version of HOT HOT NOT? It'll just be NOT HOT NOT HOT NOT HOT EWWWW...lol...
Oh god, I swear I saw this on some Skid Row tranny.
lol it should be Hot, Hot..WHAT THE FUCK?
Good for people to know.
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