Saturday, July 12, 2008

A giant Fuck you from the universe...


In a giant "Fuck you!" to me from the universe, I've learned that Audrina Patridge of MTV's The Hills gets paid $10,000 just to show up at clubs and drink. Nobody ever pays me to drink. Though somebody once tried to pay me not to drink. I told them to take their million bucks and scram. NY Daily News reports:

Not only does the contract require the $10k she earned, it also promises that Patridge and her entourage will be well taken care of. The Maxim model, 23, demands "a secure VIP area with complimentary beer, mixed drinks and bottle service (two bottles) and at least one security guard at all times," according to the rider.

If somebody shows up a club screaming "Oh my God, I have to get in! Audrina Patridge is here!", I think the bouncers should legally be allowed to sterilize that person. I dunno, that's just me. Call me crazy, but I'd like to see the human race survive and not be snuffed out in a "poof" of fake tits, lattes and vapid assclowns. Unless that "poof" is the sound of an H-bomb hitting Spencer Pratt in the neck.

OK..I SWORE I'd never write one fucking word about those vapid skanks from The Hills...but man, THIS ISN'T RIGHT. I couldn't agree more with The Superficial that this truly is a giant fuck you from the universe.

I'm going to go cry in my bloody mary...that I paid for....sob....
Thanks Superficial for ruining my day...

4 comments:

jax said...

ok slay me BUT i don't have a prob with these chicks and ill tell you why.

no p*ssy shots
no dui's
no hit n runs
no drug rehab
no court dates
no problem!

sure they are annoying and living my dream life..but you know what? i'd rather my kid look up to them than Paris, Miley or Britney.
IMO lol...

kris said...

Ok...Jax..you ARE allowed your opinion...lol...you do make a good point but I wonder how much longer they will continue to be well-behaved....time will tell, I guess.

Anonymous said...

I referenced this awful tidbit for you in one of my rants, Kris! :)

kris said...

lol...thanks Fish...going to check it out right now...

RETIREMENT PLANNING FOR 2008

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $36.00 left.But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, You would have had $214.00.Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.It's called the 401-Keg Plan.